Putting on a show!

Long late summer days are conducive to sitting on the patio in the back garden and reading a book. This was superb, and I highly recommend it.

At the weekend we went to the Royal Canberra Show. Him Outdoors was not thrilled about it all - 'why would I want to come and look at marrows?' - but I encouraged him to come along anyway. It's an absolutely parallel universe, and I enjoyed my foray into this world. The first stop was the llamas. I know nothing about them, but they were all lined up for showing, in the same way as other animals are. 

Next up were the sheep. I do like sheep. One child was there with her dad, asking awkward questions. She liked one variety of sheep until the steward informed her that they were bred specifically to produce lamb chops. She then asked her dad how he knew it was a boy sheep rather than a girl sheep after he said it was a 'big boy'. He had made this comment due to its unfeasibly large testicles (which actually looked very uncomfortable), and he didn't look as though he had prepared for this particular conversation today.

Him Outdoors commented, 'I don't understand wood-chopping'. I'm not sure how much there is to understand. One stands on top of a log of wood and tries to chop through it with an axe as quickly as they can. We saw this last contestant have a go - I'm very impressed with their confidence, as they appear to be very hot, with sweat dripping into their eyes and slickening their hands, while wielding a very sharp blade next to their feet, shod only in plimsolls. 

We then moved on to the dog-judging arena (I can claim this part as research for my course). The owners or handlers bring the dogs into the space, line them all up in a certain posture, and walk or jog up and down beside them to show their agility and obedience. 

I wondered if they have a dress-code, as they all wear blazers and the women wear dresses or twin-sets. As we continued on our rounds, we found a tent of rather garish jackets for sale, so I guess the answer's yes. 

There was a cattle paddock in which there seemed to be some sort of mother and baby competition - the cows walked around the ring followed by their calves. I know it was about showing off the meat and the breeding properties, but I liked to think there might be some assessment of parenting skills in there too. 

We were not present at the correct time to witness the pig races, which may have been just as well, but the piglets were all snuffling about in the shade in their finest racing jackets. 

Of course there were tractors and shiny farming machinery, of course they were offering the chance to sit in them and have your photo taken, and of course all the dads were keen for their offspring to do so. 

Furniture made out of recycled wood is always a hit with us, particularly bars and benches, as we've always got an eye out for pub furnishings. And I also liked the bird-feeder. 

And so to the food and produce. Let's start with the dahlias, of which there are many colours and varieties. I'm still not sure whether the tags attached refer to the name of the plant or the grower. 

It's not all fun and games, however, there is competition too. And they start them early. These are from the Junior Section of Horticulture: An arrangement on a saucer - Under 5 years. We all know they had help, but no one will admit it. I mean, would you?

I love the jars of jams, marmalades, pickles and chutneys. With their bright colours, subtle hues, and even veined textures, they remind me of Victorian collectors with their curiosity cabinets. 

And so to the cake. Fruit cake (rich or boiled); sponge cake; carrot cake; chocolate cake; chocolate beetroot cake; lemon cake; coconut cake; coffee cake; orange cake; marble cake; banana cake; tea cake; sultana cake;  plum pudding; slices; shortbread; muffins; biscuits; and, of course, the great Scone-Off!

All of this edible deliciousness is placed behind glass so no one else gets to touch or taste it and we can only take the judges' word for it that the cake was the correct amount of sweet or moist or fruity or whatever. The decorating category, however, is easier to see, as it is the visual aesthetics of these which are rewarded, rather than the taste. I find the miniature designs of cakes and cup cakes particularly fascinating.

I had no idea there were so many classes in the cake decorating section. The 'Modern Buttercream Beauty' looked overwhelmed by it all and had collapsed into the backcloth. It now resembled a Jackson Pollock canvas, but I suspect that was not the intention as a sign next to it announced, 'This cake was damaged after judging was completed'. Aren't we all, cake, aren't we all?

There are also celebration cakes, wedding cakes (traditional and modern), sculptured cakes, and floral and sugar art.

Back at the garden produce section we have the amusingly-shaped novelty fruit or vegetables, and then everything from your beans and marrows to your apples and pears. 

Since I attended the Stokesley Show with half of the family a few years ago, we have had a bit of a 'thing' about tomatoes on a plate. I think it is the rigidity of the displays that interest me - there must be a certain number; they must be of a specified variety, and they cannot be enhanced with adjuncts or garnish. For example, class 205 is collection of tomatoes - 3 kinds (standard units), 228 is 3 tomatoes - Red Skin (not cocktail type), 229 is 12 Tomatoes - Cocktail Type (any colour), 230 is 3 Tomatoes - Roma Type, 231 is 3 Tomatoes any other colour (not cocktail), 232 is Truss of tomatoes (any size) - Minimum of 6 tomatoes, and then there is the school student section: class 275 is 3 tomatoes, and 276 is 6 cocktail tomatoes - any colour.

In honour of the above (and below) I wrote this Haiku:

Plated tomatoes

Not two, four or five, but three

Red globes on a plate.

All of that looking at things made us thirsty, so we sampled some cider and came away with some for later. 

We made our way past the flyball (more of which later), and arrived at the craft exhibition, which kicked off with socks, and other items in the hand-knitted, pottery, china painting, and crochet categories. 

There are categories for spinning, dyeing, weaving, felting, lace-making, needlework, papercraft, lapidary, sewing, millinery, woodcraft and art techniques (including painting, drawing and 'colouring in'). I will put the quilting and patchwork in a separate post, but here are examples of the some of the above.

Him Outdoors was somewhat alarmed by the notion of Showbag Alley. It is a highlight of the show for many as they queue up to be bombarded by flashing lights, trashy music and plastic bags of unbelievable tat. This is almost a different world from the showing of animals and the demonstrations of skills. This is brash and common, the very opposite of the exceptional talent seen at the show - this is the night that follows the day, with all the fun of the fair!

The next day I went blackberrying, and I came across a juicy-looking cluster protected by this fellow. I thought it was probably harmless but I left well alone because... Australia. Turns out it is a Botany Bay diamond weevil, also known as a sapphire weevil (Chrysolopus spectabilis), and it is not, indeed, poisonous or venomous. But it is very pretty.